Virginia Ogilvy, Confidante to Queen Elizabeth II, Dies at 91

Virginia Ogilvy, the Countess of Airlie, who served Queen Elizabeth II for nearly 50 years as the only American-born member of the monarch’s inner circle of advisers, assistants and close friends known as the ladies-in-waiting, died on Aug. 16 at her estate in Cortachy, a village in Scotland. She was 91.

Her daughter Lady Elizabeth Baring confirmed the death.

Ladies-in-waiting, a position dating to the Middle Ages, carried out different tasks under different queens, including planning, correspondence and household administration.

But in all cases the most important task was to serve as a sort of official best friend, requiring discretion, an ear for gossip and a careful eye on the queen’s needs and wants. By tradition and necessity, the role is usually held by a peer, in part because it comes without salary or benefits.

Lady Ogilvy’s husband, David, the Earl of Airlie, had been friends with Queen Elizabeth since they were children, and the couple were long a part of her social circle. Both would join her household: Lady Ogilvy in 1973 and her husband in 1984, taking the role of Lord Chamberlain of the Household, overseeing the queen’s domestic affairs after a long career in banking.

Lady Ogilvy was something of a first among equals in the ranks of the ladies-in-waiting, with the official title of Lady of the Bedchamber. She and the queen were by all accounts quite close; the queen even joined Lady Ogilvy at her 70th birthday party, at Annabel’s, a members-only nightclub in London, an event celebrated in the British news media as the only time the queen went clubbing.

Like her husband, Lady Ogilvy was known for a keen sense of style and decorum; in public she wore the pearl-and-diamond encrusted Airlie Tiara, a jewelry piece created for her husband’s grandmother Mabell, Countess of Airlie, who had served as a lady-in-waiting to Elizabeth’s paternal grandmother, Queen Mary.

Lady Ogilvy was regularly at the queen’s side and often stood quietly to her left when Elizabeth sat for ceremonies. She was attuned to a subtle sign language as the monarch mingled; if Elizabeth twisted her wedding ring, for example, it meant that she was tired of a conversation and needed to be extricated.

She frequently traveled with the queen, including on state visits to the United States. And she was always on hand when the queen received American visitors in Britain, including, in 2018, President Donald J. Trump.

When Mr. Trump extended his hand to greet Lady Ogilvy, the 85-year-old countess grabbed it tightly and pulled him in close, visibly catching him off guard. A clip of the encounter went viral in Britain.

Virginia Fortune Ryan was born on Feb. 9, 1933, in London while her American mother, Margaret (Kahn) Ryan, was in the city for a visit.

Both her parents came from immense wealth: Her maternal grandfather was Otto Kahn, the financier said to be an inspiration for Rich Uncle Pennybags, a.k.a. Mr. Monopoly, while her father, John Barry Ryan Jr., was a grandson of the financier Thomas Fortune Ryan.

Virginia, who went by Ginny, spent her childhood shifting between homes in Manhattan and Newport, R.I., with frequent trips to Britain. Her parents were good friends with Winston Churchill, and once lent their Newport home to the British politician Anthony Eden while he was in the United States for surgery.

She met her future husband, David Ogilvy, at a dance at London’s Savoy Hotel when she was 16. Their wedding three years later took place at the Church of St. Margaret, on the grounds of Westminster Abbey, with 1,000 people in attendance.

Mr. Ogilvy became the 13th Earl of Airlie in 1968, making his wife Lady Ogilvy. Even before assuming the title, they lived at Cortachy, the historic family estate, where by all accounts she developed strong ties with the villagers who lived on the grounds.

“She takes tea with many of them, and is a sweet lassie,” one local told The Associated Press in 1952.

Lord Ogilvy died in 2023. In addition to her daughter Lady Baring, Lady Ogilvy is survived by her five other children, Lady Doune Wake; Lady Jane Nairac; Patrick Ogilvy; Bruce Ogilvy; and David Ogilvy, 14th Earl of Airlie; 14 grandchildren; and eight great-grandchildren.

After Queen Elizabeth II died in 2022, her son, King Charles, announced that he would retain the queen’s ladies-in-waiting as ladies of the household. But they will not be replaced: Queen Camilla said that she would instead rely on a less formal group of “queen’s companions,” who would have fewer responsibilities than the ladies-in-waiting of her predecessors.