Love Island‘s Jess Hayes has shared a heartbreaking poem after tragically losing her baby boy at 19 weeks.
The reality star, 27, took to Instagram over the weekend to say she is in ‘unbearable pain’ and her heart ‘seems to break a little more everyday’ in an emotional update.
Jess revealed last week that she had tragically miscarried her baby boy at 19 weeks, explaining she and fiancé Dan Lawry had named their son Teddy.
Heartbreaking: Love Island ‘s Jess Hayes has shared a heartbreaking poem after tragically losing her baby boy at 19 weeks (pictured in April)
Writing an emotional update, the reality star said she will never understand why the ‘bleeding wouldn’t stop’ and why her waters ‘suddenly broke’.
Jess also said that her whole world has ‘crashed down in three days’ and that she wishes her baby boy was still ‘tucked up safe’ in her tummy.
She wrote: ‘My heart seems to break a little more everyday. Il never understand why the bleeding wouldn’t stop. Why my waters suddenly broke and I had to deliver my son knowing I wouldn’t be taking him home .
‘I just wish he was still tucked up safe in my tummy where he should be. I have so many bump pictures I never got to share where he was safe.’
Sad: Jess revealed last week that she had tragically miscarried her baby boy at 19 weeks, explaining she and fiancé Dan Lawry had named their son Teddy
Emotional: The reality star, 27, took to Instagram over the weekend to say she is in ‘unbearable pain’ and her heart ‘seems to break a little more everyday’ in an emotional update
Jess added: ‘I’m praying this whole thing gets easier I really do it’s an unbearable pain losing a child you created and thinking what would have been.
‘My whole world had crashed down in 3 days . I hope my angel will guide me and help me through this. I will always be a proud mum to my two boys , always ❤️.’
Jess wrote the heartbreaking words alongside an emotional poem about baby loss called Little Butterfly by Amy Farquhar.
It read: ‘I lived my life inside you cocooned in all of your love. So mama, papa, please don’t cry I’m still with you, just up above.
‘I felt your every heartbeat it’s my sweetest melody and for every heavenly bedtime the angels play it back to me.
Mourning: Jess wrote the heartbreaking words alongside an emotional poem about baby loss called Little Butterfly by Amy Farquhar
‘I know how much that I am wanted I feel so very blessed of all the mummy’s in all the world I got the very best!
‘You think of me in all your waking hours, and on those sleepless nights, just look out the window and you’ll find me, the brightest star, the most dazzling light.
‘I’m that little breeze in the summer and I’m that unexpected white feather, I plucked it from my downy wings so that you remember we are always together.
‘I know how much it hurt your soul when we had to say goodbye but I’m not gone, in always here, I’m your sweet little butterfly.’
Last week, Jess revealed the heartbreaking news via her Instagram page, explaining she and fiancé Dan Lawry had named their son Teddy.
‘Unbearable pain’: Jess also said that her whole world has ‘crashed down in three days’ and that she wishes her baby boy was still ‘tucked up safe’ in her tummy (pictured in November)
The reality star told how she was ‘drowning in grief’ and wrote ‘I’m so sorry I couldn’t keep you safe for a little while longer’, alongside a picture of her baby’s hand and footprints, a knitted blanket and a teddy bear.
Jess said: ‘To Our little Teddy. I’m so sorry I couldn’t keep you safe for a little while longer. I’m sorry I couldn’t take you home.
‘I’m sorry we had to say goodbye this way it wasn’t supposed to be like this. The pain is unbearable and I feel like I’m drowning in grief.
‘My mind spinning thinking of all the what ifs and questions of who you would of grown up to be. When will I wake up from this awful nightmare?
‘I look at the clock and count the hours of how old you are time is moving but your not here your not getting older it’s not fair. No first times, smiles or laughter.’
Grief: Jess shared some moving words alongside her heartbreaking announcement last week
The mother-of-one – who welcomed first son Presley James in June 2019 – continued: ‘Why did this happen to us? I wish I could of stared at your beautiful face a little while longer and held you in my arms forever.
‘I look down at my empty stomach where you should still be growing safely and I feel so empty without you there no kicks no flutters.
‘I could see Presley in you, you were so beautiful, perfectly formed. You would never get to play together and be best friends in this world and that hurts so much he would of loved you his little brother so much.
‘I’m grateful that we shared 19 weeks together and I carried you for as long as I could before it was your time to gain your wings.
‘You will always be our beautiful son and I promise you will hold the biggest place in our hearts forever my sweet angel. I will make sure the world knows how special you are.
Family: Jess pictured with her fiancé Dan Lawry and 18-month-old son Presley (pictured in August)
‘Until we meet again my Teddy.. Too special for this world. I love you now, forever and always . Your mummy, Daddy and big brother Presley.’
Tragically, Jess had only revealed that she and Dan – who announced their engagement in August 2018 – were expecting their second child last month.
She won Love Island in 2015 alongside Max Morley in the first season of the rebooted show, but they parted ways just 40 days after the final aired.
Afterwards, Jess didn’t minced her words about her ex, saying that she ‘would never go near him’ again because he’s ‘vile’.
He went on to date Charlotte Crosby, Love Island 2016 contestant Zara Holland, and ex Love Islander Laura Anderson.
The Sands National Helpline provides a safe, confidential place for anyone who has been affected by the death of a baby
Call the Sands Helpline on 0808 164 3332 [email protected]
A look back: Jess is known for being the first-ever winner of Love Island
What causes a miscarriage?
It is highly unlikely that you will ever know the actual cause of a one-off miscarriage, but most are due to the following problems:
• ABNORMAL FETUS
The most common cause of miscarriages in the first couple of months is a one-off abnormal development in the fetus, often due to chromosome anomalies. ‘It’s not as though the baby is fine one minute and suddenly dies the next,’ says Professor James Walker, Professor of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at the University of Leeds.
‘These pregnancies fail from the outset and were never destined to succeed.’ Most miscarriages like this happen by eight weeks, although bleeding may not start until three or four weeks later, which is worth remembering in subsequent pregnancies. ‘If a scan at eight weeks shows a healthy heart beat, you have a 95 per cent chance of a successful pregnancy,’ says Professor Walker.
• HORMONAL FACTORS
A hormonal blip could cause a sporadic miscarriage and never be a problem again. However, a small number of women who have long cycles and irregular periods may suffer recurrent miscarriages because the lining of the uterus is too thin, making implantation difficult.
Unfortunately, hormone treatment is not terribly successful.
‘There used to be a trend for progesterone treatment, but trials show this really doesn’t work,’ warns Professor Walker. ‘There is some evidence that injections of HCG (human chorionic gonadotrophin, a hormone released in early pregnancy) can help, but it’s not the answer for everyone.’ The treatment must be started as soon as the pregnancy is confirmed, at around four or five weeks.
For women over 40, one in four women who become pregnant will miscarry. [One in four women of all ages miscarry, but these figures include women who don’t know that they are pregnant. Of women who do know that they’re pregnant, the figure is one in six. Once you’re over 40, and know that you’re pregnant, the figure rises to one in four]
• AUTO-IMMUNE BLOOD DISORDERS
Around 20 per cent of recurrent miscarriers suffer from lupus or a similar auto-immune disorder that causes blood clots to form in the developing placenta.
A simple blood test, which may need to be repeated several times, can reveal whether or not this is the problem.’One negative test does not mean that a women is okay,’ warns Mr Roy Farquharson, consultant gynaecologist who runs an early pregnancy unit at the Liverpool Women’s Hospital.
Often pregnancy can be a trigger for these disorders, so a test should be done as soon as possible,’ he adds.But it can easily be treated with low dose aspirin or heparin injections, which help to thin the blood and prevent blood clots forming – a recent trial also showed that women do equally well on either. ”We have a 70 per cent live birth rate in women treated for these disorders,’ says Dr Farquharson, ‘which is excellent.’
• OTHER CAUSES
While uterine abnormalities, such as fibroids, can cause a miscarriage, many women have no problems carrying a pregnancy to term. An incompetent cervix can also cause miscarriage at around 20 weeks.
While this can be treated by a special stitch in the cervix, trials suggest it is not particularly successful, although it may delay labour by a few weeks.Gene and chromosomal abnormalities, which can be detected by blood tests, may also cause recurrent miscarriages in a small number of couples.
A procedure known as preimplantation genetic diagnosis can help. After in-vitro fertilisation (IVF), a single cell is taken from the developing embryo and tested for the gene defect. Only healthy embryos are then replaced in the womb.
It is an expensive and stressful procedure – and pregnancy rates tend to be quite low – but for some this is preferable to repeated miscarriages or a genetically abnormal baby.