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Mario Falcone emotionally discusses his past suicide attempt

Mario Falcone has emotionally discussed his past suicide attempt and said that he had to ‘stop pretending to be okay’ around his loved ones.

Talking to ‎Anna Williamson on her podcast Breaking Mum & Dad, the former TOWIE star, 33, admitted that he used to be ‘scared of being left on my own’. 

Mario tried to take his own life in 2012 at the height of his fame while starring on The Only Way is Essex.

Emotional: Mario Falcone has emotionally discussed his past suicide attempt and said that he had to ‘stop pretending to be okay’ around his loved ones

While fans thought they were watching Mario’s life play out on-screen, he was secretly dealing with a hidden mental health battle. 

Talking about the difficult time, Mario, whose sister is Giovanna Fletcher, said that he didn’t understand what he was going through and he felt ’embarrassed’ about voicing it.

The reality star, who lives with his fiancée Becky Miesner and son Parker, two, added that he is now ‘much better’ at dealing with things due to the help from a counsellor and being able to talk ‘openly’ with his friends.

Mario said: ‘When you look back now and think how irrelevant those things that were effecting you at the time were, and I think now it’s because I’m not in TOWIE, I’m not in that space anymore.

Family: Talking to ‎Anna Williamson on her podcast Breaking Mum & Dad, the former TOWIE star, 33, admitted that he used to be 'scared of being left on my own' (pictured with his family - sisters Giovanna Fletcher, left, Giorgina, centre, and his parents in throwback photo)

Family: Talking to ‎Anna Williamson on her podcast Breaking Mum & Dad, the former TOWIE star, 33, admitted that he used to be ‘scared of being left on my own’ (pictured with his family – sisters Giovanna Fletcher, left, Giorgina, centre, and his parents in throwback photo) 

‘The things that were so bad at the time really aren’t now but at the time they were everything. 

‘I had just broken up with my partner at the time, anyone who has been on reality TV will tell you, even for the viewer, that those stories lines are made for your entertainment but they are part of our real lives.’

Mario admitted that he struggled with being portrayed as a ‘bad boy’ and that there were a collection of ‘horrendous storylines’, including a close friend ‘throwing him under the bus’.

He continued: ‘At the time all those story lines were against me and even though I was portrayed as the bad boy on TOWIE at the time, I am anything but that, but that was my role. 

‘Everything just came at once, there were some horrendous story lines at the time and I had just broke up with my partner. 

Secret battle: Mario tried to take his own life in 2012 at the height of his fame while starring on The Only Way is Essex (pictured on the show)

Secret battle: Mario tried to take his own life in 2012 at the height of his fame while starring on The Only Way is Essex (pictured on the show)  

‘Amid all that, someone I was really close to, one of my good friends, had come on the show and thrown me under the bus as well. He was probably one of the people I would’ve turned to to talk about the break up and storylines on the shows.   

‘So all of a sudden I actually felt really quite alone. As well, I didn’t know what this feeling was, it’s not like now when we speak so openly about anxiety and about depression, it was all so alien then.’

Mario was asked how he would ‘characterise’ how he was feeling at the time, to which he said it was like a ‘weight on his chest’. 

He continued: ‘Even when I talk about it now I feel it. It’s like this weight, I can’t breathe, it’s a lack of motivation, it’s an inability to actually see good. There would’ve been an array of really amazing things in my life at the time I just couldn’t see them. 

‘I always say it felt like being pushed into a corner and not being able to step out, it was all really dark around you and someone’s pushing on your chest.’

'Much better': The reality star, who lives with his fiancée Becky Miesner and son Parker, two, pictured, added that he is now 'much better' at dealing with things due to the help from a counsellor and being able to talk 'openly' with his friends

‘Much better’: The reality star, who lives with his fiancée Becky Miesner and son Parker, two, pictured, added that he is now ‘much better’ at dealing with things due to the help from a counsellor and being able to talk ‘openly’ with his friends 

Mario said due to his split at the time, it made him question his purpose and that it was a ‘horrible feeling’.

He said: ‘I didn’t understand it and I just found it really tough to get through the day and I just felt like I didn’t wanna live with that feeling anymore. Because I didn’t understand it I felt embarrassed and I really didn’t know how to voice that. 

‘I used to be scared of being left on my own because of my own thoughts, I would make everything seem so bad and the only way I felt like I could get rid of that feeling was to not be around.’

Mario said that after he woke up from his suicide attempt, he realised how serious things were, adding: ‘It was a moment of clarity.’

The reality star added that he was ‘so embarrassed’ and that he hadn’t told his friends or family at the time. 

'Embarrassed': Talking about the difficult time, Mario, whose sister is Giovanna Fletcher, said that he didn't understand what he was going through and he felt 'embarrassed' about voicing it

‘Embarrassed’: Talking about the difficult time, Mario, whose sister is Giovanna Fletcher, said that he didn’t understand what he was going through and he felt ’embarrassed’ about voicing it 

Mario continued: ‘I don’t think it was a cry for help, I just remember wanting to stop that feeling. I had to stop pretending to be okay around everyone, filming and pretending to be okay, being around my friends and family and pretending to be okay, I wasn’t living.’

The reality star said that he still discusses his past suicide attempt with his friends and that it is ‘good’ that they can talk so openly about it.

Mario said: ‘When I’m out with the boys now it still comes up because we will get to that point where we have one too many pints and it will always come up and they will say how they can’t believe I may not have been here. 

‘And it is good that this sort of things come up because we all speak so openly about it now. I am much better at dealing with things now because my perspective is completely different. 

‘Everybody has sh*t days it’s just about how you deal with them, like this morning I had a contact that didn’t get renewed and before that would’ve made me go in on myself, eat loads of rubbish, just be really self-deprecating.

‘But now I’m like, fine, I will crack on with all the other stuff I have to do. I will go out this evening, have some drinks with the boys and I will be fine. I won’t let myself have too many as I know being hungover is one of my triggers now, so I try and avoid it.’

Mario said that due to ‘horrible’ trolling while on TOWIE, he visited a counsellor who helped put things into ‘perspective’ for him.

He said: ‘Twitter was a horrible place at the height of TOWIE because suddenly people had access to you, people would say stuff to me like “I hope you die of cancer”.

‘They would say stuff that I wouldn’t say to my worst enemy, never mind someone you don’t know. 

Hard: Mario admitted that he struggled with being portrayed as a 'bad boy' on TOWIE and that there were a collection of 'horrendous storylines', including a close friend 'throwing him under the bus'

Hard: Mario admitted that he struggled with being portrayed as a ‘bad boy’ on TOWIE and that there were a collection of ‘horrendous storylines’, including a close friend ‘throwing him under the bus’ 

‘You are watching 45 minutes of a show created for your entertainment which it clearly says at the start, you don’t know what that persons life is like. 

‘So I went and saw a counsellor and he put so much stuff in perspective for me, and made me realise I didn’t have a coping mechanism for things that went wrong.’

Mario admitted that he will never be ‘cured’ from his mental health battle and that he still suffers from ‘really bad anxiety’ on some days.

He said: ‘Of course now I have days when I have really bad anxiety, of course you are never “cured”, I hate that word, you learn to live with it. 

‘You know your triggers, you know the things not to read and the people to remove yourself from.’ 

If you are affected by anything in this story please contact the Samaritans dedicated confidential support line free on 0800 069 6222. 

Life now: Mario admitted that he will never be 'cured' from his mental health battle and that he still suffers from 'really bad anxiety' on some days (pictured with his family in 2019)

Life now: Mario admitted that he will never be ‘cured’ from his mental health battle and that he still suffers from ‘really bad anxiety’ on some days (pictured with his family in 2019)  


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