Shailene Woodley gets candid about bad sex and says ‘honesty and transparency are everything’
Shailene Woodley says the key to good sex is ‘communication.’
The 29-year-old actress has admitted she’s had bad sex ‘more than once’ in her life, and says her top tip when it comes to revitalizing her sex life is ‘honesty and transparency’ with her partner.
In an Ask Her column for men’s website Leo one person inquired: ‘If the sex is not great but the relationship is thriving, do you call it quits or work on it?’
Candor: Shailene Woodley says the key to good sex is ‘communication’; Shailene pictured in January 2020
And Shailene responded: ‘Oh … I have been here. And to be quite honest, it has happened more than once in my life.’
She explained: ‘All I can say is, from my perspective as a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to say it, honesty and transparency are everything.’
The actress argued that ‘If you don’t feel safe in communication with your partner, then chances are, you may never be able to cultivate a truly connective sex life.’
She continued: ‘And, if you do feel safe, then talk about your needs. Whether they are being met or not. Ask your partner about theirs.’
Pretty in pink: She has admitted she’s had bad sex ‘more than once’ in her life, and says her top tip when it comes to revitalizing her sex life is ‘honesty and transparency’; Shailene pictured in March 2020
The Big Little Lies star also said finding a good balance in a relationship can ‘take time,’ and insisted most people don’t have great sex until they can be ‘truly intimate’ with one another.
She continued: ‘Bad sex is simply two people who haven’t quite found the language that speaks to their unique lives together yet. Or, two people who don’t know how to be deeply vulnerable with one another. That s*** can take time.
‘And although you occasionally and very rarely do meet someone whom you spontaneously sexually combust with – most of the time, sex is a lesson in true intimacy.’
Shailene concluded her advice by urging people to ‘explore the roots of emotions’ with their partners, and to take things slow.
Words of wisdom: Shailene concluded her advice by urging people to ‘explore the roots of emotions’ with their partners, and to take things slow; Shailene pictured in March 2020
She said: ‘Wanting to call a good thing off simply because your sexual connection isn’t a 10 yet is perhaps the greatest path to growth. Perhaps it is an invitation to reach into the underbelly of what you are both afraid to dive into. To explore the roots of emotions, feelings, attachments – and to play in the world of sensually exploring your partner.’
As far as her own love life is concerned Shailene used to be in a relationship with the Fijian rugby player Ben Volavola who was born in Sydney.
They were first linked in 2017 but by last spring she told the New York Times that ‘I’m very much single, and I’ve chosen to be single for a while.’
In 2019 she told the June issue of InStyle: ‘I don’t trust anyone. Dating’s hard. I mean, I love sex. I love the power of emotional connection via physicality. Who doesn’t? But now I’m only interested in those unexpected impactful connections. It’s easy to talk about the positive things about love, but love is scary.’
The way they were: As far as her own love life is concerned Shailene used to be in a relationship with the Fijian rugby player Ben Volavola who was born in Sydney; The pair pictured in 2018