Tamar Braxton has declared she is ‘dedicated to being the best mom’ possible one year after trying to take her own life.
After the 44-year-old survived her suicide attempt she severed her relationship with WE tv where she was starring on two shows.
‘I still love television but I’m definitely not ever doing another docuseries about my life,’ she said in a new interview with People.
‘Moving forward: After Tamar Braxton survived her suicide attempt she severed her relationship with WE tv where she was starring on two shows; pictured on Tamar Braxton: Get Ya Life!
On the cover: She told People she is ‘dedicated to being the best mom’ possible one year after trying to take her own life
She shares her eight-year-old son Logan with her ex-husband Vincent Herbert with whom she starred on the reality show Tamar And Vince.
After their marriage fell apart Tamar began starring on the WE tv docuseries Tamar Braxton: Get Ya Life! about life as a single mother.
Meanwhile she was also featuring on the hit reality show Braxton Family Values that centered on her, her sisters including singing star Toni Braxton and their mother.
However as time went by she became frustrated by the splashy way Braxton Family Values showed family conflicts and Get Ya Life! portrayed her home life.
Tamar said that while shooting her spin-off: ‘After a scene, I’d watch it back, and it would be nothing like how it went down. They started piecing words together and sentences. I just thought that wasn’t necessary.’
She insisted she ‘wanted to do positive television’ and that at the beginning of Braxton Family Values ‘it was about a positive black family.’
When that became ‘just not what it was anymore’ she told the brass how she felt and ‘felt ignored. That’s when things really started to go downhill for me.’
One issue was that during a WE tv reality show taping the subject of her being sexually abused during her childhood came up without her permission, she alleges.
Mother and child: She shares her eight-year-old son Logan with her ex-husband Vincent Herbert with whom she starred on the reality show Tamar And Vince
WE tv meanwhile pointed out to People that Braxton Family Values did not ever broadcast her talking about the subject.
Nevertheless Tamar said: ‘How it came out was very traumatic for me,’ adding: ‘I thought I had successfully buried that part of me, but it was manifesting in different ways. It was coming out in how I dealt with things emotionally, how I looked at situations, how I conducted myself.’
Tamar told the magazine that the way she was depicted on reality television ultimately influenced her decision to try to kill herself.
Specifically she ‘I didn’t want to continue being a disappointment for’ Logan as: ‘How can his friends’ parents respect me if this is what they see every day? I wouldn’t let my kid go over to a child’s house if this is what was portrayed on television.’
The way they were: Tamar and her ex-husband are pictured on a 2012 episode of their show Tamar And Vince; the marriage ended in 2019
She added: ‘In my sickness, I thought that if I can take the embarrassment out of his life, maybe he would have a chance to have the best life.’
Tamar shared: ‘That time of my life was so dark and so heavy. I didn’t see how I was going to come out on the other side. I didn’t even know that there was another side. But I chose to change my life.’
She acknowledged: ‘Most people think: “Oh, she went to a hotel, probably took a bunch of drugs, was on a binge.” It didn’t happen like that. It was just everyday life, trying to figure out how to get through the day and then….’
However now a year on from the attempt ‘I’m dedicated to being the best mom, the best person I can be. I am moving forward.’
Family business: Meanwhile she was also featuring on the hit reality show Braxton Family Values that centered on her, her sisters including singing star Toni Braxton and their mother
At present she speaks to a psychiatrist three times as week and a life coach just as often and talks to celebs about mental health on her Under Construction podcast.
‘I have a responsibility. I chose to live my life out loud; I have to do the work because people are watching me,’ said Tamar.
Tamar attempted suicide last July and shortly thereafter broke her silence on Instagram denouncing the ‘systemic bondage’ of TV.
WE tv said in a statement they ‘will work with her representatives to honor her request to end all future work for the network.’
Departure: Tamar attempted suicide last July and shortly thereafter broke her silence on Instagram denouncing the ‘systemic bondage’ of TV; pictured on Get Ya Life!
However by that point the first season of Tamar Braxton: Get Ya Life! had already been filmed so it was broadcast.
Tamar wrote on Instagram shortly after her attempt: ”Over the past 11 years there were promises made to protect and portray my story, with the authenticity and honesty I gave. I was betrayed, taken advantage of, overworked, and underpaid.
‘I wrote a letter over 2 months ago asking to be freed from what I believed was excessive and unfair. I explained in personal detail the demise I was experiencing. My cry for help went totally ignored. However the demands persisted.’
On the air: Once she left WE tv the first season of Tamar Braxton: Get Ya Life! had already been filmed so it was still broadcast
After her suicide attempt The Blast reported on a letter she purportedly sent WE tv last June in which she wrote that she had ‘considered ending’ her life.
The alleged letter drew a line from WE tv to the ‘cruel white slave masters who once chained our forefathers’ and blamed the network for discord among her loved ones.
Tamar’s reported note said her ‘once happy’ family now ‘fight with each other, betray each other, and now we’re physically assaulting each other.
‘All happening because your show has chosen to show the absolute worst side of a strong, independent, and successful African American family.’
Side by side: Last year Tamar’s ex David Adefeso got a restraining order against her but it was dismissed this March after they failed to appear at a hearing; they are pictured in 2019
Then in September of last year her ex-boyfriend David Adefeso obtained a temporary domestic violence restraining order against her.
At the time he claimed that she had made threats to take a hit out on him, as well as that she had assaulted him as he drove.
However this March TMZ reported the restraining order was dismissed after both of them failed to appear at a hearing.