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Woman outs gay husband to his Mormon fundamentalist family

A woman who caught her soon-to-be ex-husband cheating on her with another man has revealed that she outed him as gay to his Mormon fundamentalist mother and likely got him ‘disowned.’

Reddit user u/life_after_love shared her ‘long and sucky story’ on the ‘Am I the A**hole’ forum this week, explaining that her 28-year-old spouse knew that he was gay before they got married and hid his boyfriend from her. 

‘I found out because I caught him cheating, and he as much as admitted that he knew he wasn’t attracted to me that way, but he wanted kids and a “normal” life,’ the 25-year-old wrote. 

‘I don’t care that he’s gay, but I will never forgive him for leading me on so he could use me to have kids, so it’s over, end of story.’

Drama: A Reddit user revealed on the ‘Am I the A**hole’ forum that she outed her husband as gay to his Mormon fundamentalist mother after he cheated on her with a man (stock image)

While she is ready to move on, she is having issues with his family, particularly her ‘interfering’ mother-in-law. She said they’re mostly ‘fundamentalist nutjobs’ who don’t believe in divorce. 

The woman recounted how her mother-in-law recently cornered her and blamed her for the divorce, insisting she was ‘being childish’ and that ‘marriage is about commitment, forgiveness, and working through problems. 

‘It became apparent that my ex didn’t tell his family that he cheated,’ she wrote. ‘He told his mom that I was divorcing him because we weren’t having sex often enough for me. 

‘I tried to be patient and explained that he had cheated and that’s why. I wasn’t going to go into greater detail because I know how his parents are and it’s none of their business.’ 

However, her mother-in-law continued to push her and even went as far as insulting her while blaming her for the infidelity. 

‘MIL’s advice, I kid you not, was that men are just that way and if I wanted to have sex more and for him not to stray that I should make myself more attractive to my husband and be a better wife,’ she said. ‘I lost the plot completely. It had been a sad and hard day already and that was the last straw.’

The woman admitted that was when she snapped and outed her ex to his mother. 

It's not you: Outing someone without their consent is widely condemned in the LGBTQ community, but most of the commenters agreed that she wasn't in the wrong

It’s not you: Outing someone without their consent is widely condemned in the LGBTQ community, but most of the commenters agreed that she wasn’t in the wrong

‘I told her that the only thing that would make me more attractive to my ex would be a sex-change operation and that I hoped he and his boyfriend adopted her some grandchildren so she could finally shut the hell up about it,’ she recalled. 

‘Not my finest moment, but she just hit the worst and rawest nerve she could have and I exploded,’ she added. ‘It’s evidently turned into a huge family drama, he’s probably going to be disowned, and my ex called sobbing that I’ve ruined his life out of spite.’

The woman said she doesn’t know how to feel about the situation, and she wanted to know if others thought she had crossed the line with her outburst. 

‘I do feel bad for him that his parents are such awful people and there were just no “good” outcomes for him, but I also feel like he made his own bed here, too,’ she explained. 

The Redditor later made edits to the post to offer up more context, assuring readers that her ex’s family is not violent and won’t physically hurt him. 

‘They’re more of the Mormon shunning type,’ she wrote, noting that he is not financially dependent on his family and will be able to support himself if they kick him out. 

She also stressed that her husband knew he was gay long before she fell for him and has been using her to hide his sexuality their entire relationship.  

‘He’s known he was gay since before he met me, so this wasn’t a new discovery or admission to himself,’ she said. ‘He has a boyfriend that he’s been dating since six months before we were married. 

Cornered: Many agreed that she didn't have a choice after her soon-to-be ex-husband lied and claimed she was divorcing him because they weren't having enough sexy

Cornered: Many agreed that she didn’t have a choice after her soon-to-be ex-husband lied and claimed she was divorcing him because they weren’t having enough sexy 

‘I went through his computer after catching them in the act and kicking him out and found messenger logs and other evidence going back to before he started dating me,’ she added. 

‘He literally set this up so he could have the nice Mormon family on the surface to keep his family happy. That’s it. He never loved me at all, I was just the first girl to express a sustained interest.’

Outing someone without their consent is widely condemned in the LGBTQ community, but a majority of the commenters agreed that she wasn’t in the wrong because her ex didn’t leave her any other option. 

‘You got pushed into a corner and blamed for the demise of the relationship which was ultimately bc of his dishonesty,’ one person wrote. ‘You didn’t do it maliciously.’

‘Normally I would have said that you should never under no circumstances out anyone BUT he was such a massive AH for using her as a facade, wasting her time, and not taking accountability,’ someone else added. ‘She deserves to have a genuine relationship.’ 

‘Speaking as someone who is queer, who has been forcibly outed in the past, who’s been tormented, made homeless, fired from jobs for not being straight—yeah, OP is 100% NTA here,’ another shared. 

‘A person doesn’t get to control their ex’s narrative when a relationship has ended. A cheater doesn’t get to expect protection from their ex. And he knew from the start and used her—if he wanted to not be outed, he should have made it very clear to his family that the breakup was his fault, and he should have told them that he is the one who caused it.’


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