If you can’t be good then be lucky.
Or be lucky for a bit, and then good for a bit. That’s probably better.
Arsenal managed to go from 1-0 down to 2-1 up in their Europa League clash with Molde at the Emirates Stadium without scoring a goal themselves, which is quite something, but ultimately the Gunners added a couple of other strikes to put a gloss on a comfortable night.
Nicolas Pepe and Joe Willock were the scorers of those goals as the Gunners made it nine points from nine in their Europa League group, and here are the not entirely serious player ratings from the evening.
Bernd Leno: 6
He’s probably going to get slaughtered for kicking it long before their goal by the more serious analysts, if there are any, but did you see him messing about with it at the back at Rapid Vienna the other week?
Can’t have it both ways, nerds.
Ainsley Maitland-Niles: 7
Could be brilliant in one position if he ever settles on one, but just being really good in all of them is fine too.
Shkodran Mustafi : 5
Nah. That’s not really him is it? Didn’t he leave like three years ago? Must be a hologram.
Whoever that was decided to play in midfield for a bit anyway, or maybe the hologram wasn’t working properly.
David Luiz : 7
Acted as though he was too cool to be there all night.
And you know what? He was absolutely right.
Sead Kolasinac: 5
Hahahahaha. Did you see that miss though? Jesus. Donald Trump would have scored and he’s got tears in his eyes.
Granit Xhaka: 6
Thomas Partey is good isn’t he?
Dani Ceballos: 7
Loves passing the football more than anyone has ever loved anything.
Joe Willock: 8
Mad that he’s played like 500 games for Arsenal now, and only about two of them were in the league.
Knows the route to goal on a Thursday night though, and he seemed to make the second own goal happen through sheer force of ‘let’s just stop messing about here shall we lads?’
Then got one for himself at the end.
Hard to criticise him because you know he’s brilliant deep down, just didn’t fancy being so tonight.
Eddie Nketiah: 7
Really really really wants to kick the ball in the goal, so much so that he did so when it didn’t count.
Nicolas Pepe: Either 5 or 9, depends on your Twitter feed
His head must be a mess you know. Got a goal though, which Nketiah will be jealous about.
Cedric (on for Maitland-Niles, 63): 6
Came on, got whacked in the face.
Saka (on for Willian, 63): 7
He’d have felt great sitting on the bench knowing that he was one of the good lads who was being protected for the weekend, before coming on and proving just why that is.
Might be the best player in the world in about 10 years. Or 15. How old is he? 12?
Elneny (on for Ceballos, 80): n/a
Important now, so doesn’t need to mess about with nights like this.
Tierney (on for Xhaka, 80): n/a
Arteta’s Jacket: 11
Love heart eyes emoji.