Man United are looking for a new playmaker… to run around after their pampered stars.
The Mr Fixit – or Mrs – will pitch in 24/7 as “the main point of contact” for the players and their families.
They will sort out visas, accommodation and house moves, and arrange cars, phones, bank accounts, schools for kids and language lessons, if needed.
With so many overseas players, candidates must speak English, Spanish and French.
And they will have to know more than “on me head, son” – “sur ma tete, fils” in French and “en mi cabeza, hijo” in Spanish.
An ad says the employee will show a “positive, enthusiastic ‘can do’ attitude” as they “develop and maintain trusted relationships with players and families… ensuring all essential practicalities are in place… and ongoing support with all elements of domestic life”.
The idea is to make things as smooth as possible so new stars can focus on playing alongside the likes of Paul Pogba, David de Gea and Marcus Rashford.
And they will get to attend all home matches… while looking after players’ guests in the hospitality suites.
It comes as it emerged Manchester United executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward ” had tears in his eyes” as he showed a fellow club chief the criticism he received from fans.
The Red Devils supremo has been slammed for years of poor player recruitment.
Woodward took over from David Gill in 2013 but has been unable to carry on United’s success.
Instead he has hired and fired the likes of Louis van Gaal and Jose Mourinho while also sanctioning a host of big money signings that have failed to deliver at Old Trafford.
It has incurred the wrath of United fans, but his experiences have been shared by former Anderlecht chief Michael Verschueren.