Neil Ruddock has admitted he forced an airport to evacuate over 4,000 people after a prank gone wrong.
While on his way to tour with Liverpool in South Africa, the former defender thought it would be a good idea to have a laugh with a member of staff.
But matters went south very quickly – leading to a mass evacuation.
Ruddock was also strip-searched and forced to his knees by gunpoint with security taking his claim very seriously.
It all started at Heathrow with Razor awaiting a flight, confessing he already felt “quite merry”.
He said: “When the woman at the check-in desk asked me if I had anything in my bags, I decided to have a joke with her.
“She looked like she was game for a laugh so I thought I’d give it a go. ‘Just a couple of Uzis,’ I quipped. ‘Oh yes, and about 30 hand grenades.’
“At that moment, the woman I thought was game for a laugh quickly reached under her desk and hit a button. As she did, I had a feeling my joke might not have been taken as such.
“First of all a siren started that wouldn’t have been out of place in the Blitz, lights were flashing everywhere, and a very loud voice came over the Tannoy, ‘EVACUATE TERMINAL NOW. EVACUATE TERMINAL NOW. DO NOT TAKE YOUR LUGGAGE. EMERGENCY.
“I was surrounded by 10 armed police officers and told to get on my knees and put my hands behind my head.”
Razor continued: “When they eventually pulled me to my feet I couldn’t believe what I saw.
“A few minutes ago there’d been about 4,000 people all about to go on holiday and now all that was left was their luggage, scattered all over the place.
“It was then that the enormity of what I’d done started to hit home.
“I started saying ‘I promise. I’m not a terrorist. I’m a footballer. I’m really sorry’.”
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Razor was told the bomb squad was searching his luggage, and he thought: “F*** me, was I in trouble!”
He was then strip-searched and put through a metal detector naked before being grilled by anti-terror officers.
It took his manager, Roy Evans, to beg with the police to stop the defender getting charged for the incident in 1994.