Proceed with due care and attention in today’s north London derby.
The young Gunner was allegedly ‘caught on dashcam’ spontaneously converting his £140k Mercedes into a three-wheeler on the M25 recently.
But before we rush to condemn the lad, I put it to you that perhaps it wasn’t even him.
And if it was, perhaps he wasn’t ‘driving like an utter tool’ at all. But only swerved off into those bushes to avoid running over a stag beetle, which had perhaps paused on that quiet slip road for a breather.
They are one of our most endangered mini-beasts. So he’d be more of an environmental hero really, like Greta Thunberg.
The 0-0 has pretty much gone the way of the dodo in Arsenal-Spurs fixtures. There’s been one sighting of the species in the last 22 years and it didn’t look like a breeding pair.
Spurs can struggle to force the pace so it could be gridlock, but I’ll nibble derby monster Harry Kane ‘anytime scorer’ at 11/10 (Paddy) , and the Spurs/Spurs half-time/full-time result at 11/5 (Fred) .
Mo Salah can take advantage of any one-way traffic at Anfield (7.15pm).
The loss of poor Raul Jimenez is a massive blow for Wolves and his airborne threat would have been a serious factor against Liverpool – in fact, if you think the visitors will get ever out of reverse, Romain Saiss is worth an ‘anytime scorer’ nibble at 13/1 (Paddy).
But Salah is the one in the ‘anytime’ fast lane at 23/20 (BetVic). Get on ‘penalty scored in match’ at 11/5 (Paddy) too – it’s tasty on the Reds’ stats so far.
We’re in the gutter looking for a star to fall in the earlier kick-offs.
Jamie Vardy can shine when Leicester go to rock-bottom Sheffield United (2.15pm). His speed and skill plus VAR’s keen eye for detail is a match made in heaven. Punt ‘penalty scored in match’ at 5/2 (Paddy).
Same-ish call as struggling West Brom welcome Wilfried Zaha and Crystal Palace (12pm) – nibble ‘Palace score a penalty’ at 11/2 (Bet365).
Over in Italy red-hot Zlatan Ibrahimovic is ‘anytime scorer’ gold at 17/20 (Fred) when in-form Milan go to Sampdoria (Serie A, 7.45pm).
Last week: Winners at Evens & 17/10