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Mother of toddler reveals her husband is ‘grumpy’ with her after she gained weight

A mother of a two-year-old child has revealed how her husband became ‘grumpy’ with her after she ‘let herself go’ following their birth of their baby.

The woman, believed to be from the UK, who works part-time and also looks after their child, took to Mumsnet where she explained she’d had a ‘big row’ with her husband after he’d been ‘grumpy’ one afternoon. 

She went on to say how when she asked him what was wrong, he blurted out that he didn’t understand what was wrong with her, before adding she’d ‘massively let herself go’ and doesn’t ‘look anything like the woman he married.’

While the woman admitted she knows ‘he’s right,’ hundreds of social media users took to the comments section to slam his behaviour, with one writing: ‘Tell him you don’t exist in this world for his visual pleasure and you’ll do whatever the f*** you want to do with your own goddam body?’

A woman (not pictured) has revealed how her husband (not pictured)  became grumpy after she gained weight and stopped going to the hairdresser as often after becoming a mother

The poster, who has a two-year-old child, said she works three days a week, as well as looking after her toddler

The poster, who has a two-year-old child, said she works three days a week, as well as looking after her toddler

In the post, the woman penned: ‘I’ve gained weight, I was a size 10 and now a size 14.

‘My hair is brushed and clean but now my only upkeep is going to the salon every couple of months to get rid of split ends. When we met I’d have balayage and styled my hair regularly.

‘I rarely wear make up now, when I used to wear the usuals, tinted moisturiser, blush, get my brows and lashes done.

‘I do dress okay when I’m out and about but tonight I was wearing my big dressing gown and PJs (not very attractive I know).’ 

Numerous commentators felt the original poster's husband was way out of line for making cruel comments about her appearance

Numerous commentators felt the original poster’s husband was way out of line for making cruel comments about her appearance

She went on to say how the comments ‘hurt’ and she didn’t know what to do.

Many posters were extremely sympathetic to the woman’s situation, with some saying the husband had no right at all to criticise her appearance, and that her body is her own business.

‘Tell him you don’t exist in this world for his visual pleasure and you’ll do whatever the f*** you want to do with your own goddam body?’ wrote one, while a second penned: ‘What a superficial t***. Tell him to get his priorities straight.’

A third added: ‘Never mind let yourself go…you need to let him go, the k***. How completely unreasonable of you not to put a full face of makeup on…not!’

Quite a few of the people who responded to the post said physical attraction was important in their relationship, and they may not be as attracted to a partner who gained weight

Quite a few of the people who responded to the post said physical attraction was important in their relationship, and they may not be as attracted to a partner who gained weight

However, others admitted that they too would be less physically attracted to their spouse if their appearance changed drastically.

One wrote: ‘Since a key part of attraction is what people look like it’s not unreasonable to have feelings if how your spouse looks changes a lot. Even if there’s a good reason for it. 

‘I adore my husband but if he put on 10 stone I wouldn’t be attracted to him. I wouldn’t have married him if he’d been 10 stone heavier so why would I want that now?’

Another penned: ‘He could have worded that more kindly. But, to be honest, if my husband had gained a lot of weight and was slobbing around in his PJs – I would say something.’

And a further commentator added: ‘He wasn’t kind about it, but there are countless women on here saying they don’t find their partners attractive after weight gain, and they’re often agreed with.

‘Hope you talk to him.’

 

For many, the issue came down to how many mothers have less time to spend on themselves than fathers, as women are often primary caregivers who do the bulk of domestic chores

For many, the issue came down to how many mothers have less time to spend on themselves than fathers, as women are often primary caregivers who do the bulk of domestic chores

For a lot of people, the issue came down to the often unfair divide women face when it comes to doing the housework and childcare, leaving less time to spend exercising and on beauty treatments. 

One writer said: ‘Is this one of those situations where the woman holds down a job as well as doing the majority of the housework and childcare, while the man prioritises his health and appearance, then the man complains that his wife doesn’t look exactly like she did when they got married?’

Another added: ‘If he’s that worried, he needs to pull his finger out and do more around the home to allow you some free time to take care of personal care needs (what ever you feel you need beauty/exercise etc).’ 

‘Tell him how his comments have made you feel,’ another suggested.

‘Maybe ask him to pay for your hair to be done and for him to look after your daughter while you get it down.

‘Ask him to look after your daughter more in the mornings so that you can do your make up. Obviously only if you want to.’


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