Only got time for a quickie?
Bored stupid by the same old foreplay techniques and routine lovemaking?
Using tease tactics and clever techniques, these simple tricks will transport you both from completely uninterested in sex to desperate for it…in minutes.
Build tension throughout the day
Tracey Cox reveals foreplay tricks to turn you and your partner on in five minutes. Stock image
Start with a promise: a kiss that lingers longer than usual or a playful squeeze of his penis with a cheeky ‘I’ll be seeing you later’, before he leaves the house.
Then continue teasing during the day with some sexts. Don’t agonise over what to say, keep it simple. ‘Thinking about what I have planned for tonight and it’s making me hot,’ is fine.
Follow the text up with a photo of the part of your body that your partner loves the most.
The golden rule with safely sending suggestive photos: only show a part of your body that doesn’t have identifying factors (like a tattoo) rather than all of it, don’t show your face and remember, a hint of eroticism can be more of a turn on than an explicit picture.
Sex expert Tracey shares tactics and clever techniques to get you hot under the collar
Watch, read or listen to something erotic
It’s a low-effort guaranteed way to arouse yourself and there really is something for every taste these days.
If porn bothers you ethically or you’re just bored by the ugly filming and cliché ‘plots’, check out some more female friendly erotica.
Make Love Not Porn is a great site that’s ‘pro-porn, pro-sex and pro-knowing the difference’.
Joy Bear is a British site that’s contemporary and has won lots of awards.
Or go old school and try a classic film like ‘Basic Instinct’ for brilliant bondage, ‘Henry and June’ for girl on girl, ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ for voyeurism. Also try reading some erotic fiction.
Again, there are the classics like Lady Chatterley’s Lover (still smoulders after all this time) or try the brilliant FrolicMe website that not only has beautiful films, but erotic stories read out loud. Girl On The Net is also good.
Have a champagne kiss
WHAT TO DO WHILE WATCHING EROTICA
It’s sexy watching other people have sex – which is why watching porn or an erotic movie works so well to gets us in the mood quickly. Watching it with a partner is a great way to refresh a stale sex life – but it can make people feel awkward.
‘What do we do once it’s on?’, is a question I’m often asked. Well…
Use it to arouse yourself before you start having sex with your partner.
Act out what’s happening on the screen – do whatever it is they’re doing.
Start watching it to get in the mood and then just leave it playing in the background as you get down to business. Glance up now and again to keep things nicely revved up.
Take turns to watch – you give them oral while they enjoy the film, then they return the favour.
Use it to test out or learn how to do something you’d both like to try in real life.
Use it to get ideas for sex positions and copy each one.
Get into positions where you can both watch. Reverse cowgirl (her on top but facing away from him) or him-from-behind as you spoon, facing the telly. Doggie style also works well.
Use your hands on each other while your eyes are trained on the screen.
Tie your partner up then put it on. Masturbate in front of them but don’t touch them.
Blindfold them so they can hear but not see, as you describe what’s happening on screen and do to them, what they’re doing on screen.
All you need is a bottle of something bubbly, your partner lying on their back, and you straddling them.
Take a good gulp of chilled champagne (proscecco, sparkling wine or sparking water if you don’t drink) into your mouth, resist the urge to swallow and hold it there.
Now, lean over and kiss your partner, letting a tiny amount of champagne trickle into their mouth.
Wait until they realise what you’re doing and swallow, before letting a little more trickle out. (You want to excite them, not choke them!)
The more turned on you get, the bigger the gulps.
Even better if some overflows down the sides of their mouth – you’ve got the perfect excuse to lick it up.
Don’t forget to take turns being the giver and receiver (and be warned: it’s easy to get sloshed!).
Wake-him-up-fast hand techniques
If he’s not very erect, take a firm grip at the base of his penis and squeeze while pulling upward, working up the full length.
When you reach the head, repeat the same motion using the other hand and continue alternating hands.
Once he’s erect, move into ‘The Corkscrew.
Hold the base of the penis with one hand wrapped around it and put your other hand on top in the same position but holding onto the other side.
Start at the bottom and slide to the top, moving your hands in different directions as you wind toward the head.
When you get to the head, use the palm of one hand to caress the entire surface then slide your hands back down again to the starting position.
Only work upward
Run circles around her
A simple way to switch up their oral sex skills and intensify stimulation is to get your partner to think about the direction of how they circle the clitoris with their tongue.
It feels quite different clockwise and counterclockwise.
Get them to try mixing it up a little – a few twirls one way, a few twirls the other.
As a general rule, the smaller the circle you’re making with your tongue, the more intense the stimulation; the large the circle, the less intense.
Start off with large circles, making them smaller as you go along.
ORGASM IN FIVE MINUTES FLAT
Use lube. It’s a must not a luxury. Lube makes even the most boring caress feel kind of sensational. It also stops sex being painful.
Add a vibrator. Holding a vibrator on the clitoral area is the quickest, most efficient way for a female to orgasm. Try holding it on your cheek as you’re delivering oral sex.
Switch stimulation. If something doesn’t feel right within a minute, try something else. Alternate between tongues, hands, penetrative sex, toys.
Do something new. We quickly become desensitised to sexual sensations and experiences, which is why the first time for anything is often the best. New equals erotic. Add something different to your repertoire: tie each other up, pull out the stops with the sexy lingerie, try a new position or technique.
Do it yourself. No-one is as expert at giving you an orgasm as you are yourself. If you’re finding it hard to tip over the brink, finish yourself off and suggest your partner does the same. It doesn’t mean you aren’t good lovers, just that DIY gets a quicker result.
More crucial info: a dry tongue feels like sandpaper, a wet one feels marvellous. If they’re dehydrated (hungover?), get them to keep some water beside them and swig it.
Add a bit of what you fancy
The trick to moving fast from cold to red hot desire is surprise: introduce an element of the unknown and you’re usually onto a winner.
Never underestimate the ‘cliches’ when it comes to sex: they’re cliches for a reason. They work because they’re popular.
Blindfolds might seem passe but they instantly add sexual tension and vulnerability which injects a healthy dose of lust into long-term relationships.
They also reduce any embarrassment and increase awareness of all physical sensations because by closing off one sense, you highlight the others.
Tie-up games remain the one fantasy that actually works out well when couples take it through to reality.
Switching the power dynamic – tying up the person who’s usually the boss, for instance – gets brilliant results.
Spanking is another way to instantly create excitement.
Warm up the buttocks first by kneading them firmly, then start with a few light, playful slaps.
Start to get firmer and heavier as you go on and vary your strokes so you’re mixing light touches with firm, quick smacks.
Check out Tracey’s new Supersex Couple’s Kit at lovehoney.co.uk. You’ll find this and other great gift ideas on traceycox.com.